Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bring money and cleavage
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
