i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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