Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
