I molested 6 butterflies tonight
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
