Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
