I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
