For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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