I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
50% drunk capacity currently
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
