i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
