discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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