Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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