THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
