the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I smell stomach acid.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
