My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
