I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
