just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
