Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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