do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
