I love black thongs
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
