I love black thongs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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