bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
