Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
