I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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