I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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