I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
