I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
