He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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