i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dicks are not precious.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
