There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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