Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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