That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My cat gives me a boner
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Im part way to drunk.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
