it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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