No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
