I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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