C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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