garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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