Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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