Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is the high leading the old right now
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
