okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
