I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
