Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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