I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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