yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
