Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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