I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
