she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
