Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
