found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
