6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
