dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
