he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
