just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
