at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
