sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
