the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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